Awareness & Anticipation

He is in the room. I can feel his energy. Been waiting for it all day long.

This morning's action was merely an appetizer before the buffet of delights that awaited me. Lost count how many times he brought me to the edge, then paused again and again, observing my body's reaction, teasing me. It's one of my favorite games that we play. When I think I can't take it anymore, he enters me again deep inside me for a series of thrusts then stops, his cock motionless inside my pussy. In between my moans of longing, I flash him a smile.

"Like that, baby?" he asks with his velvety voice so deep and lusty. His eyes change quickly from a dark but gentle twinkle to badass motherfucker waiting to give it to me. When his lips part slightly, my heart skips a beat and the ache grows more intense.

"Mmmm" I reply, nodding as I raise up a hand and stick my thumb between his lips. I feel his teeth, his lips, his tongue. Then holding my hand to his mouth, he sucks a couple of my fingers until he feels me clench his cock the way he loves. Tension mounting inside the both of us, he closes his eyes as I throw my head back, caught in waves of delight as he pounds into the depths of me and fills me with his cum. Pleasure, pleasure, pleasure - it fills my brain, washes warm golden all over my body and I fall off that familiar edge into ecstacy.

He knows my body so well, and I know what feels good inside - together our lovemaking is incredible. This is my escape, my release and my nourishment.

That was then, and now he is here, and the ache inside only he can properly fill soon will meet its end. My panties are more than just damp and the thought of his penis hardening when he sees me causes my mouth to water and my nipples to push against the inside of my push up bra. I relish my body's reaction, for it knows what's in store for the hours to come. And come it will, and so will we.

Me And Mrs. Jones

True story.

A while back I had an online lover whom, I must admit, I was a little bit crazy about. Strung me along, played me. Fucker. Of course it didn't work out at all, but whatever.

This was one of his favorite songs.

"Me and Mrs. Jones....we got a 'thing' goin' on..." Barry White. Now there's a man and mmmmm baby, he GETS it. Too bad 'Player' didn't. His loss...thanks for playing. Buh-bye.

But, 'before his time' Me And Mrs. Jones has always been a favorite song of mine. Which probably endeared him to me even more because he liked it so much. Even though I 'got played', when I hear this tune, I think of him and it makes me smile.

Orders

Tell me

Tell me everything
Tell me nothing
Use words
Or use your eyes

Tell me to fuck you
Tell me how much you want me
Tell me to dance for you
Tell me I'm sexy
Tell me how you want to feel my body
Tell me how hard you are
Tell me how wet you are

Tell me to show you
Tell me how you love watching
Tell me you love my body
Tell me to cum
Tell me to scream
Tell me to work you
Tell me to make you cum
Tell me how you like it
Tell me where to put my hands

Tell me how much you love it
Tell me how much you need it
Tell me how much you want me

Tell me you're going to fuck me
Tell me you can't wait to fuck me
Tell me you want to cum in my pussy
Tell me you want to cum in my mouth
Tell me you want to fuck me like a bitch
Tell me you want to fuck me hard
Tell me you're going to tease me
Tell me to beg for it

Tell me how
Tell me when

Use words

Or use your eyes

Tell me with your body
Tell me with your eyes
Tell me with your hands
Tell me with your tongue
Tell me with your fingertips
Tell me with your heat
Tell me with your breath
Tell me with your moans
Tell me to touch myself
Tell me to suck harder
Tell me to choke on it
Tell me you'll fuck my ass
Tell me to lick it
Tell me that you're cumming
Tell me to get ready
Tell me to open my mouth
Tell me how much you love this

Tell me
Now

Apathy

There are some days where I just want to be fucked. Plain and simple. No frills. No scene-setting, no forced building up of tension, no gut-checks. No questions. Few words, a flash of the eyes, a lingering stare, hasty breathing - then ramming speed.

Yes there are days where I long for a gentle touch, a healing kiss. But there are just some days in between where all I want is to be fucked by a beautiful man, then off on my merry way.

Tah-tah!

What Would Anais Do?

Read a quote today from the lips (or pen perhaps) of Anais Nin:

"I have the right to love more than one person and to change my prince often."

She fucking rocks.

Like the true Anais Nin wanna-be I struggle with this concept inside my fledgling erotica mind. Many times in my life have I loved more than one person at the same time, but my struggle is truly believing I have the right to love more than one person at any one given moment. There's always an element of betrayal in my mind, as if my love is a known quantity, a finite resource that can only be doled out in equal amounts. Taking on another lover means subtracting the love from a previous/existing lover, an injustice of sorts, and through no fault of the existing lover(s). And to further complicate things, I inject levels of 'lover', whether it's physically, virtually or privately in my own fantasties. I beat myself up thinking this way, and my thoughts are always expressed no matter how hard I try to suppress them. My lovers sense the tension. They may or may not wonder what's wrong - i may be cool and indifferent or on fire with lust - but they sense a change.

And perhaps jealousy works this same way in my mind. What if Anais also meant to say that her lovers have the right to love more than one person and change their princess (or prince) often? I wonder all the time if my lovers have more than one lover (which they all do, I'm certain) and it makes me feel inadequate because my rules as outlined above also applies in this scenario; I can't be happy.

So I shift my thinking to love and what it means to love more than one person. Perhaps my love is NOT a known quantity, a finite resource. There is no "peak love" in existence. Sustainability with regard to love is a moot point. Perhaps the way my love works is like the federal reserve and money; when i need more, I make it. That doesn't seem too far-fetched. Or is it?

Perhaps love is energy that cannot be created nor destroyed. It only changes form. We fall in and out of love, discover new things about our lovers, thus our love waxes and wanes in response to that. But is there value in wondering about amount? How much love do I really have?

Anais would probably put her pen down right about now and tell me to stop thinking about it so much and get to the heart of what I really truly feel inside about her quote. And therein lies the issue. I don't know.

Anais Nin was a formidable journal writer, a National Geographic Explorer of her own mind and sexuality. I know exactly what she would do. Write about it. Maybe start a blog.

I'm one step closer...

The Mind's Eye

The mind's eye is the best camera and the body memory never forgets. I can see his face and feel the head of his swollen cock between my lips. The ridge is so thick and pronounced, the skin of his massive piece is stretched taught and hot to the touch, like leather seats in a car that's been parked in the sun. My mouth watering, cools his throbbing, and I slowly roll my tongue around the head. He emits a gasping 'ahhhh' and closes his eyes, head thrown back for a few seconds. I hear myself moan, mouth full of penis, and the thought of it now causes a wave of pleasure that moistens my panties, just as it did when his cock was so hard in my mouth. I could tell his pleasure was mounting, excellerating like a car out of control; his brown eyes became wild with lust, my lips clenched around his cock, sucking, moaning, and sucking hard. And at a high rate of speed he came furiously in my mouth, spurting his cum on my waiting wet tongue, and moaning in delight I tasted his sweetness.

Objects

It was the first time I'd ever seen or held a dildo in my hands. I'd seen them, in a case or from a distance but never touched them. Always curious about them, wondered who shopped for them, who sold it to them, what conversation transpired between shopkeeper and customer.

And now I had two of them. I purchased them online from the comfort and privacy of my own home, so no shopkeeper banter. I won't go into details about them except that one needs batteries and the other doesn't. There are so many out there to choose from it's mind boggling. And the mind boggling doesn't stop there. It's amazing what a couple tools will do to get the job done...

A couple of sites that are fantastic to shop from are Babeland and Adam & Eve. Check 'em out and I guarantee you will find something you can't live without!