The One

He is the one I fantasize about all the time.

Even when I didn't know who he was, only hoped that he existed, he has been the subject and the object of my fantasy.

Everybody has one of these, imaginary or not - your ideal sexual match, the perfect lover, the perfect mate. Made just for you, for your pleasure only.

Such a curious concept, having the perfect mate. One could think about the prospect of finding the perfect personal lover the most elusive and impossible of tasks. I think of this line in the movie "Moonstruck" when Olympia Dukakis' character asks Johnny Cammareri, "Why do men chase women?". Cammareri, played by Danny Aillelo, relates it to the story of about Adam and Eve, saying that when God created Eve he took a rib from Adam, blah, blah, blah. He continues on, postulating that because of this fact, men chase women to get the rib back. Ok, so what's my excuse? Tracing my roots back to Eve, I never lost a rib. So why do I chase men?

Well, I chase men to find The One.

In my chase over the years I've been fooled before, but I like to call those learning experiences. I've learned more about myself in those failures - what I really like, what I've compromised myself on, what I won't tolerate. Those things in my inexperience started out as just casual thoughts that go something like "well it would be nice if..." which is promptly followed by "...but it's alright." Nice nothing, and it's not alright. Days, months, years go by, same rules, same whatever. It's those little things like the sand in your ass when you're making love on the beach that really rubs you the wrong way (hahaha, pun intended) but you never get up and do something about it. Those images of beach fucking never cautioned on the hazards, only promised mind-blowing orgasms and images of an endless sky before your eyes roll back in your head. (Whatever.) And so you play by the rules until you get smart and realize "I didn't sign up for this." Thinking back to the improbablity of finding the perfect lover, that ONE, I think it's highly probable that I will find him like I find a great pair of shoes. Didn't know they existed, that they were so comfortable, that they go with so many clothes in my closet, etc... But, shopping is in essence a hunt in itself, a learning experience. And those learning experiences mysteriously put you on an unchangeable collision course destined to solve this maddening dilemma. So intriguing, even after having gone through one of my most difficult learning experiences, I find it compelling to ante up and play again.

So back to The One. Think I found him. Like that pair of shoes, he already aligns with me. I don't have to alter much to make it work. I know, I know I shouldn't have to alter anything, but believe me there's more to my story that doesn't fit in this conversation. I have a lot of things that needed to be altered in my life before he came along. He is just the exclamation point at the end of the sentence. That "I should've had a V-8" slap on the forehead. D'uh...

What makes me think he's it? Well, for now call it a hunch. A strong one. But I'm betting down and dirty that he is The One. And maybe I might not know for a while, but maybe I will. Maybe when I don't notice the sand at all, only the vivid hues of a sunset sky right before I cum as the ocean crashes against our naked bodies somewhere in the Pacific. Maybe then I'll know.