40-Year Old Pleasure Party Virgin

Pleasure Party: def. an event held in the privacy of one's home in which friends are invited to peruse products of sexual nature, e.g. lotions, lubes, dildos, cockrings, vibrators, whips, etc... This ain't no Tupperware party, baby.

My dearest friend from my college days sent me an invitation to a "Pleasure Party" at her house. Hmmm...pleasure party, I thought. I knew exactly what it entailed and I looked forward to it. I had never gone to one of these things, and have wondered about them - what is sampled, displayed or demonstrated. And how it's done.

All in all it was pretty tame, considering what's really in the catalog. Lots of the things that were shown were standard, and rather practical. The most interesting thing to me was a male masturbator. (No it's not a real guy...) This 'product' looked like a bumpy cylinder shaped mass of squishy silicone, translucent gray and somewhat tacky and gummy. Didn't look like anything provocative, in fact it didn't look like anything at all. Could have been a stress ball thing or a kids toy. Kinda ugly, not at all something that would be appealing to the eye...unless you knew what it was for. The rep demonstrated its use on a rather giant glass dildo, but when I finally got the thing in my hands, I realized how intricate it was. There was a small opening about the size of a straw on one end and when I put my fingers in it, I could feel the texture inside - soft, bumpy, squishy (there was lube in there from the demo in case you were wondering). Like a vagina, I thought. There were ridges & nubbies inside of it all the way through the full length of it. I held it up to the light and inspected it - reminded me of the shape of an earthworm. It was stretchy too, so the texture inside would change depending on the degree to which you contracted or stretched the thing. Also, it was open-ended, so the head of the penis sticks out the other end - hmmm... thought, now there's a different kind of hand job. And blow job....because this thing was stretchy, you could pull it over the head and it would create suction! Pretty freakin' impressive. I could go on, but maybe that's something for another post...someday.

Not going to tell you whether I bought the thing or not, but I will say that I dropped a hundred bucks on edible lubes and shaving products. Can't wait to try those out.

My pleasure party virgin days are over. Aren't you glad? I sure am.