Let me start off by saying from birth we're all on the same trajectory of perfection. From the moment you take your first breath, you're perfect. You haven't fucked up yet.
Keyword: Yet.
While I know it's wrong to covet another woman's husband, it's another to take him home and fuck him. Or is it? Had I broken a commandment the moment I began undressing him with my eyes, imagining him gloriously naked fucking me? I challenge my own notions of what I consider wrong.
I sympathize with a girlfriend of mine who's soon-to-be ex-husband lives with his mistress of over a year. Sure she's bitter and angry. And while I don't side with him, I'm not sure I know who's wrong, if there's someone at fault. Shit happens.
And then again I think, well yes shit does happen. And I'm part of that shit happening. No, no I'm not my girlfriend's 'other woman' problem. But I have been someone else's.
I'm not the type of person that's down with OPP (other people's pussy, you know the song... you down wit OPP?). I'm not the type of person that gets off on getting what doesn't belong to me. While I don't believe anyone really belongs to anyone but themselves and I do like the idea of 'belonging' to someone else, you can't choose who you fall in love with. In a sense, love is cruel that way. Love sets you free, but like Spiderman's gramps said, 'with freedom comes great responsibility'. I hear you Spidey, and like you I must conceal my identity.
But concealing comes at a cost. Then you decide whether or not you can continue paying. It's tricky to know when your love is a check you can't cash, but like I said, love is cruel like that.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
A Commentary on Expression
It's amazing how different women look in porn videos. There are all shapes and sizes, but within those there are archetypes: the skinny bitch, the voluptuous woman, the athletic amazon woman, the child-like innocent woman. But even more amazing to me is the different types of expression among all those different archetypes.
Scary Spice
Some of these women look just plain evil. Like a female supervillian. Huge fake boobs, tiny hips, leggy by virtue of high-heeled platform shoes, drawn in eyebrows and long talon-like french manicure acrylic nails. While their being fucked, the look on their faces looks almost sinister, rarely as if they're enjoying the most sensual pleasure.
Expressionless
These women I pity the most. Somehow they have missed the greatest opportunity to experience the most amazing pleasure that sex provides. They look tired, sometimes stressed and never smile. They look like they're just working. Or they're really bored. At least the Scary Spice girls manage a devilish smile. I would hate to be a man wanting so desperately to cum raging all over someone's mouth only to look down at a face that looks like she can't wait until you cum so she can take a nap.
Sensual Woman
These are the gals that make a lot of eye contact with their parnter or partners. You can tell they're engaged, very visual. They look at what they're doing, then right back at their parnter's eyes. Doesn't matter what they look like on the outside nor their age, these are the women who know what they want and what turns them on. She could be the Pillsbury Dough Girl or a GILF (Grandma I'd Like to Fuck), but man oh man, does she know what to do and how to do it. You go girl.
Sorta Sensual
Somewhat like the Sensual Woman, these ladies sorta get it, but there's an awkwardness in their expression. It's as if they are looking for approval as if to ask with their eyes or hands, 'is this what you want?'. To which I talk back to the screen and say, 'honey just do what you want, do what you feel and you will soon find out.' But maybe there's some allure in having a partner expressing that kind of insecurity. That's fine, just as long as it's part of the role play. Otherwise it's irritating.
Freakazoid
They look normal, they sound and act normal but once the fucking starts, something happens. It's more than just a wild look in the eyes, it's the whole package that seems to be a little bit against nature. There's a little bit of Scary Spice, maybe the drawn in eyebrows wrinkled in sexual frustration, a bit of Sensual Woman, but some outward odd abandon that's just a little bit uncontrollable. These are the women who, as girls, might have been the last one to be picked for a team for some playground game like red rover or kickball. Maybe that pent up misplaced anger and bitterness over the years somehow manifested sexually and they're just getting revenge.
Speaking of expression, I can't help but comment on the chicks that sound like squeaky toys when they're being fucked. Or ones that sound like crying babies. That's just eerie to me. But to each his own. I prefer grown up moans and groans.
;-)
Scary Spice
Some of these women look just plain evil. Like a female supervillian. Huge fake boobs, tiny hips, leggy by virtue of high-heeled platform shoes, drawn in eyebrows and long talon-like french manicure acrylic nails. While their being fucked, the look on their faces looks almost sinister, rarely as if they're enjoying the most sensual pleasure.
Expressionless
These women I pity the most. Somehow they have missed the greatest opportunity to experience the most amazing pleasure that sex provides. They look tired, sometimes stressed and never smile. They look like they're just working. Or they're really bored. At least the Scary Spice girls manage a devilish smile. I would hate to be a man wanting so desperately to cum raging all over someone's mouth only to look down at a face that looks like she can't wait until you cum so she can take a nap.
Sensual Woman
These are the gals that make a lot of eye contact with their parnter or partners. You can tell they're engaged, very visual. They look at what they're doing, then right back at their parnter's eyes. Doesn't matter what they look like on the outside nor their age, these are the women who know what they want and what turns them on. She could be the Pillsbury Dough Girl or a GILF (Grandma I'd Like to Fuck), but man oh man, does she know what to do and how to do it. You go girl.
Sorta Sensual
Somewhat like the Sensual Woman, these ladies sorta get it, but there's an awkwardness in their expression. It's as if they are looking for approval as if to ask with their eyes or hands, 'is this what you want?'. To which I talk back to the screen and say, 'honey just do what you want, do what you feel and you will soon find out.' But maybe there's some allure in having a partner expressing that kind of insecurity. That's fine, just as long as it's part of the role play. Otherwise it's irritating.
Freakazoid
They look normal, they sound and act normal but once the fucking starts, something happens. It's more than just a wild look in the eyes, it's the whole package that seems to be a little bit against nature. There's a little bit of Scary Spice, maybe the drawn in eyebrows wrinkled in sexual frustration, a bit of Sensual Woman, but some outward odd abandon that's just a little bit uncontrollable. These are the women who, as girls, might have been the last one to be picked for a team for some playground game like red rover or kickball. Maybe that pent up misplaced anger and bitterness over the years somehow manifested sexually and they're just getting revenge.
Speaking of expression, I can't help but comment on the chicks that sound like squeaky toys when they're being fucked. Or ones that sound like crying babies. That's just eerie to me. But to each his own. I prefer grown up moans and groans.
;-)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
One Late Afternoon
As soon as I heard his car pull up in the driveway a whole new feeling of excitement rose up inside me. From my toes to my head, I was filled with anticipation and exhilaration. All afternoon my juices flowed so freely from that dark magic place under my work clothes I was afraid to stand up at times, for fear it would run down my leg to my ankles. Today would be the day he and I had talked about for months and months. I had a surprise waiting for him, one that I had already unwrapped and primped and fussed over. She was about my height, similar in coloring and demeanor and it was her first time too. We had lunch together at work, and the topic of our lunchtime conversation drifted from comparing bedroom notes about men to our secret desire for women. Not much was said with words, but more with our eyes and our facial expression and body language. We agreed to leave work early and have drinks at my house and wait for my boyfriend to come home and find us together.
As he turned the key in the lock of the front door, I looked at her as she made her way to my side. He came through the door as I gently grabbed her hand and moved in his direction. A shocking look of delight came over his face as I shut the door behind him, grabbed his hand too and escorted the three of us to the bedroom. While she watched, I undressed him. He was the only one dressed and I had to work quickly to prepare him for what was next. As I undid his jeans, I kissed him sensually and whispered in his ear 'Surprise!'. He was already rock hard, his cock virtually popping out of his clothes pointing straight to the sky. The look on his face was enough to make me cum right there and then, but I kept myself in check, in effect teasing myself closer and closer to sensory overload. After he was fully naked, we tied his arms to the bedframe with the restraints he and I used so often. Captive on the bed, he watched as she and I experienced kissing a woman for the very first time. It was delectable, sensual and erotic, and I could tell by his breathing that I had made my lover so excited he could hardly contain himself.
We kissed again, and she grabbed my breast with her soft hand, rolling my nipple between her fingers while I glanced over at him sitting on the bed. I knew he wanted to touch. I could see his wrists gently straining against the ties, his cock erect and swollen and dripping with pre cum. She smiled as I licked my lips and turned my gaze back to her, reaching down to touch her waiting wet pussy. She gasped. She kissed me deeply, slowly and softly, her hand falling from my breast down to my waiting shaved pussy. 'I've been wanting to touch this for hours' she said to me, 'I wondered what a shaved woman would feel like on my fingers.' I looked into her eyes and replied 'Now you know'. She smiled and kissed me again.
I knew I would enjoy kissing a woman. I'm a big fan of kissing. Not the quick peck or cheezy smooch, but the deep sensual ones, the erotic ones. The kind that make you feel like a real man or a real woman. The kind that makes you feel wild with desire and fired up from within and dirty at the same time.
While he watched, I dropped to my knees, moved one of her legs over my shoulder and tasted her forbidden fruit for the first time. Like our first kiss, the taste of her was sweet, slippery and utterly sexual. She moaned loudly, almost crying out. And as I gently suckled her engorged clit, she came, her quiet gasp changing to a delicious type of sigh that sounded almost like a whimper. Her hands still woven through my hair, I stood up and kissed her with a sample of her own cum on my lips and we giggled. I could tell that we were feeling the same level of enjoyment. No words needed.
Both of us hand in hand we moved to a nearby chair where she sat me down, slowly parted my thighs and tasted my drenched lips for the first time. I locked eyes with my boyfriend on the bed and gasped as she began working her tongue around my pussy, finding her way and leading me away from my female virginity. I could tell what was happening to me drove him mad with lust. Just as I did with her, it didn't take long for her to make me cum. I didn't need to say anything. The look on my face told my voyeur lover that I was close to climax. As I bit my lip, he begged me, uttering 'Come for me Babes' and I did. Eyes rolled back into my head as I cried out with inhibitions lost and erotic desire for more.
He nearly came. I knew he wanted to. And I knew how he wanted to. I turned to her and motioned for her to lie on her back across the foot of the bed, her head toward the mirror on the other side of the room. I untied my lover and said to him, 'I want you behind me'.
She let her head hang off the side of the bed so she could see our reflections in the mirror. He, behind me, me down on her. It was almost too erotic and exciting to bear. He watched me for a few minutes suck and lick my friend's groomed pussy, watched her facial expressions and played with my clit with his fingers. My face buried between her legs, I groaned and moaned, signaling that his touching was getting me close. The sounds I was making, coupled with the soft sucking of her clit and flicking of my tongue on her lips made her come again, this time more violently and she grabbed my head and held it firmly against her convulsing pussy. I sucked the juices as she came and felt my lover's hot cock enter my ass tightly and deeply. His breathing now in loud gasps and his movements like fits of rage and passion pounding against me, rallying my senses to the highest point and sent me over the edge, screaming and cumming in hot waves, first as I heard the pitch of his gasps grow deeper and gutteral, then again as I felt the initial release of his load inside me. He pulled out and I felt the warmth of his cum on my ass. I quickly spun around and sucked his cock into my waiting mouth, tongue working the shaft, licking all of our slippery goodness, relishing every bit of it. He gasped loudly, his eyes wild and piercing and sexual.
Seeing an opportunity, she sat up and began to lick the cum off my backside, startling me. I turned around and she kissed me, transferring my lover's cum from her tongue to mine. I heard my boyfriend say 'Fucking hell!' and I began to smile and laugh. She did too. It was a near-perfect afternoon.
Next time we'll use the video camera.
As he turned the key in the lock of the front door, I looked at her as she made her way to my side. He came through the door as I gently grabbed her hand and moved in his direction. A shocking look of delight came over his face as I shut the door behind him, grabbed his hand too and escorted the three of us to the bedroom. While she watched, I undressed him. He was the only one dressed and I had to work quickly to prepare him for what was next. As I undid his jeans, I kissed him sensually and whispered in his ear 'Surprise!'. He was already rock hard, his cock virtually popping out of his clothes pointing straight to the sky. The look on his face was enough to make me cum right there and then, but I kept myself in check, in effect teasing myself closer and closer to sensory overload. After he was fully naked, we tied his arms to the bedframe with the restraints he and I used so often. Captive on the bed, he watched as she and I experienced kissing a woman for the very first time. It was delectable, sensual and erotic, and I could tell by his breathing that I had made my lover so excited he could hardly contain himself.
We kissed again, and she grabbed my breast with her soft hand, rolling my nipple between her fingers while I glanced over at him sitting on the bed. I knew he wanted to touch. I could see his wrists gently straining against the ties, his cock erect and swollen and dripping with pre cum. She smiled as I licked my lips and turned my gaze back to her, reaching down to touch her waiting wet pussy. She gasped. She kissed me deeply, slowly and softly, her hand falling from my breast down to my waiting shaved pussy. 'I've been wanting to touch this for hours' she said to me, 'I wondered what a shaved woman would feel like on my fingers.' I looked into her eyes and replied 'Now you know'. She smiled and kissed me again.
I knew I would enjoy kissing a woman. I'm a big fan of kissing. Not the quick peck or cheezy smooch, but the deep sensual ones, the erotic ones. The kind that make you feel like a real man or a real woman. The kind that makes you feel wild with desire and fired up from within and dirty at the same time.
While he watched, I dropped to my knees, moved one of her legs over my shoulder and tasted her forbidden fruit for the first time. Like our first kiss, the taste of her was sweet, slippery and utterly sexual. She moaned loudly, almost crying out. And as I gently suckled her engorged clit, she came, her quiet gasp changing to a delicious type of sigh that sounded almost like a whimper. Her hands still woven through my hair, I stood up and kissed her with a sample of her own cum on my lips and we giggled. I could tell that we were feeling the same level of enjoyment. No words needed.
Both of us hand in hand we moved to a nearby chair where she sat me down, slowly parted my thighs and tasted my drenched lips for the first time. I locked eyes with my boyfriend on the bed and gasped as she began working her tongue around my pussy, finding her way and leading me away from my female virginity. I could tell what was happening to me drove him mad with lust. Just as I did with her, it didn't take long for her to make me cum. I didn't need to say anything. The look on my face told my voyeur lover that I was close to climax. As I bit my lip, he begged me, uttering 'Come for me Babes' and I did. Eyes rolled back into my head as I cried out with inhibitions lost and erotic desire for more.
He nearly came. I knew he wanted to. And I knew how he wanted to. I turned to her and motioned for her to lie on her back across the foot of the bed, her head toward the mirror on the other side of the room. I untied my lover and said to him, 'I want you behind me'.
She let her head hang off the side of the bed so she could see our reflections in the mirror. He, behind me, me down on her. It was almost too erotic and exciting to bear. He watched me for a few minutes suck and lick my friend's groomed pussy, watched her facial expressions and played with my clit with his fingers. My face buried between her legs, I groaned and moaned, signaling that his touching was getting me close. The sounds I was making, coupled with the soft sucking of her clit and flicking of my tongue on her lips made her come again, this time more violently and she grabbed my head and held it firmly against her convulsing pussy. I sucked the juices as she came and felt my lover's hot cock enter my ass tightly and deeply. His breathing now in loud gasps and his movements like fits of rage and passion pounding against me, rallying my senses to the highest point and sent me over the edge, screaming and cumming in hot waves, first as I heard the pitch of his gasps grow deeper and gutteral, then again as I felt the initial release of his load inside me. He pulled out and I felt the warmth of his cum on my ass. I quickly spun around and sucked his cock into my waiting mouth, tongue working the shaft, licking all of our slippery goodness, relishing every bit of it. He gasped loudly, his eyes wild and piercing and sexual.
Seeing an opportunity, she sat up and began to lick the cum off my backside, startling me. I turned around and she kissed me, transferring my lover's cum from her tongue to mine. I heard my boyfriend say 'Fucking hell!' and I began to smile and laugh. She did too. It was a near-perfect afternoon.
Next time we'll use the video camera.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
It's been a long time
Been a long time since I've blogged here.
I've started a few new adventures in the last nine months, and no, childbearing isn't one of them, however the process by which a woman comes to bear a child is one of those adventures.
Of course.
I've started a few new adventures in the last nine months, and no, childbearing isn't one of them, however the process by which a woman comes to bear a child is one of those adventures.
Of course.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Blowjobs
A friend of mine and I once had this great conversation about blowjobs. I don't normally openly talk about sexual things to just anyone, but for some reason our conversation went from people watching, to men, to relationships, to sex and it just seemed like a natural progression of things. It came about through talking about communication, and how much of a turn on it is to have your partner tell you things, talk to you while you're fucking. Talking dirty to each other is more than just foreplay or fantasy play. It's telling your parnter what you love, what you want them to do to give them the most pleasure, and trusting them.
I've been with men who are silent. Don't get me wrong, I've been with both types, Jay and Silent Bob, but I definitely like men like Jay who tell you things while you're doing it to them. For those of you who have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about, rent the movie "Clerks".
But the highlight of our conversation was the topic of blowjobs. And how much we love giving them. There's something about it that is just super fantastic fucking turn-on for me, something I can only imagine a straight man would feel thinking about a woman's pussy. It makes your mouth water and your nipples hard, and you can't wait to feel that hot, soft skin on your lips. We talked about how important it was to have a parnter that told you exactly what to do, how they wanted you to swallow them, whether or not they wanted you to use your hands, to cup their balls, suck them really hard even after they came, and whether or not they liked cumming on your face or in your mouth. We talked about what we liked, too. I'd rather have a man cum in my mouth than blast it all over my face. There's something about having him explode with my lips somewhere on his penis, or me milking him into my open mouth. When I first started learning how to give blowjobs, the throbbing right before orgasm would startle me and I'd seize up. But that's different now, just took some time and a good parnter to tell u what feels best and how to please him.
I've never talked to another woman about blowjobs, sucking cock, swallowing, deep throating, the feeling of almost gagging on a rock hard dick, but not. Yadda, yadda... It was a really refreshing conversation and I was quite surprised that it happened. Sounds so odd, but I found a kindred spirit that afternoon, and looking back I can't help but chuckle.
I've been with men who are silent. Don't get me wrong, I've been with both types, Jay and Silent Bob, but I definitely like men like Jay who tell you things while you're doing it to them. For those of you who have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about, rent the movie "Clerks".
But the highlight of our conversation was the topic of blowjobs. And how much we love giving them. There's something about it that is just super fantastic fucking turn-on for me, something I can only imagine a straight man would feel thinking about a woman's pussy. It makes your mouth water and your nipples hard, and you can't wait to feel that hot, soft skin on your lips. We talked about how important it was to have a parnter that told you exactly what to do, how they wanted you to swallow them, whether or not they wanted you to use your hands, to cup their balls, suck them really hard even after they came, and whether or not they liked cumming on your face or in your mouth. We talked about what we liked, too. I'd rather have a man cum in my mouth than blast it all over my face. There's something about having him explode with my lips somewhere on his penis, or me milking him into my open mouth. When I first started learning how to give blowjobs, the throbbing right before orgasm would startle me and I'd seize up. But that's different now, just took some time and a good parnter to tell u what feels best and how to please him.
I've never talked to another woman about blowjobs, sucking cock, swallowing, deep throating, the feeling of almost gagging on a rock hard dick, but not. Yadda, yadda... It was a really refreshing conversation and I was quite surprised that it happened. Sounds so odd, but I found a kindred spirit that afternoon, and looking back I can't help but chuckle.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Underwear and Lingerie
Boy, do I love, love, love shopping for lingerie. I love seeing what's new, what's on sale, the designs, the fabrics, new colors, all of it. I had to run an errand at the mall, and of course had a stop in Victoria's Secret. This brand has a large portion of my annual lingerie and underwear budget. (Yes I do have a lingerie budget.)
What cracks me up about this store is the employees. There is a token 'VS Girl' look about them, much like the token department store make-up counter girl - 90% of them probably were ex-high school cheerleaders, of average height, all with a similar upbeat, innocent personality and very girly. There is a uniform that extends beyond the black apparel and requisite low-cut blouses. But for the product they sell, the image extends to that fine line between classy woman and porn star tart. Some women just shouldn't have acrylic French manicure nails, or that teased-underneath but smooth on the top 'bump' up-do, the pasted-on-forehead straight cut bangs, and super overdone lip gloss plastic smile. Eeek...
Don't get me wrong, they're all very nice and they all are super customer service oriented, sometimes to a fault. It grates on my nerves a bit being approached by each member of the 'squad' but that doesn't stop me from dropping some hefty coin in this store.
On this particular occasion, my salesperson suggested I get measured again just to check and make sure that I had the right sizing. I had a few different styles of bras in different sizes. and had explained to her that I was in between 2 bra sizes after losing some weight in recent months. So she followed me into the dressing room, closed the door and the first thought that popped into my mind was, 'oh no she's going to measure my breasts!' Not sure she was an ex-cheerleader - not as fluffy and perky, she was more on the demure side which made it easier for me to talk to. I wasn't distracted by bad highlights and heavily lined doe-eyes.
Tape measure in hand, she made some suggestions on sizing - I was surprised that she knew my size even before whipping out the tape measure. I've been fitted at lingerie stores before, and on one occasion, the fitting was rather 'hands-on'. I didn't know what to expect. Was she going to ask me to take off my shirt? The room felt small and I felt my flight instinct kick in ever so slightly. Before I knew it, she had the tape measure around me and verified what she had guessed and validated my assumption. "Yes, you are right in between a 34 and a 36." So was she going to verify my cup size now? Nervous, I found myself babbling on about how things fit and sizing, and I had mentioned one of my favorite VS bras but couldn't remember what it was called. So I lifted my t-shirt and flashed her. Just a quick flash, but then I wondered if I had crossed the line. It didn't seem to phase her at all, in fact she knew what bra I had on right away and it launched a whole new conversation topic on how much I loved that model and had it in multiple colors.
But then she left the room so I could try on my selections and my shopping experience continued on as normal. No awkward moments or uncomfortable silences, no hot and steamy impromptu girl-on-girl action. (sorry folks...maybe in another store, not VS) Of course it did make my mind wander though...
Wandering is good, lingerie shopping is good. And right the checkout, I was tempted with a new fragrance, like a nice bow on a present, my intimate apparel shopping experience was complete. New lingerie, new scent, I couldn't wait to get home and really try them on and break them in....
Mmmm love that part almost as much as I love the hunt....
Monday, July 27, 2009
Hiatus
It has been waaaay too long since I've posted a blog here.
I've been busy.
With what you ask? I can't tell, but it doesn't involve much writing or blogging. My hands have been busy doing other things. I'll let your imagination do the work.
I've been wondering if absence really does make the heart fonder? If you haven't seen the object of your affection for some time, does it increase the longing, the ache and desire for them the very next time you see them? Or is there a tipping point at which the moment passes you by and you've lost your chance? Inquiring minds want to know.
I've been busy.
With what you ask? I can't tell, but it doesn't involve much writing or blogging. My hands have been busy doing other things. I'll let your imagination do the work.
I've been wondering if absence really does make the heart fonder? If you haven't seen the object of your affection for some time, does it increase the longing, the ache and desire for them the very next time you see them? Or is there a tipping point at which the moment passes you by and you've lost your chance? Inquiring minds want to know.
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